THE "TUESDAY NIGHT" NOTES

PART I 

Notes on Somatic Enneagram by Type

TYPE ONE — The Body as a Site of Control

(Anger turned inward; chronic self-regulation)

1. Jaw, Spine, and Containment

“Notice your jaw, neck, and spine. Where are you holding yourself ‘upright’ right now?”
Ask: What emotion would move if this structure softened 10%?

2. Unpermitted Relaxation

“Let your body relax without improving posture or correcting sensation.”
Track: irritation, guilt, or urgency.
Journal: What rule is being violated somatically?

3. Anger Before Morality

“Sense the raw physical energy of anger without refining it into judgment.”
Where does it live when it isn’t made ‘right’?

---

TYPE TWO — The Body as an Instrument for Others

(Attention outward; self-needs bypassed)

1. Self-Sensing Interruption

“Bring awareness to your chest and belly. What do you need right now, before anyone else?”
Track resistance to staying inward.

2. Withholding the Reach

“Notice the impulse to lean in, help, or attune. Pause that impulse for 30 seconds.”
Ask: What sensation emerges when connection is not initiated?

3. Receiving Without Reciprocity

“Let your body receive care, attention, or rest without planning return.”
Where does anxiety appear?

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TYPE THREE — The Body as a Performance Vehicle

(Speed, image, efficiency override sensation)

1. Speed Reduction

“Slow your movements and breath by half.”
Track discomfort.
Journal: What identity begins to dissolve at this pace?

2. Sensation Without Outcome

“Stay with one neutral sensation for 60 seconds without optimizing it.”
Ask: What urge tries to hijack this stillness?

3. Collapse of Momentum

“Let the body stop ‘doing’ and notice what remains.”
What fear shows up when productivity drops to zero?

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TYPE FOUR — The Body as an Emotional Amplifier

(Intensity, longing, depth-seeking)

1. Neutral Sensation Tolerance

“Rest attention on a sensation that feels ordinary or flat.”
Track the urge to intensify or narrate.

2. Mood vs. Sensation

“Separate raw bodily sensation from emotional meaning.”
Ask: What happens when sensation isn’t aestheticized?

3. Belonging in the Body

“Sense whether your body feels ‘inside’ or ‘outside’ the room.”
What posture maintains separateness?

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TYPE FIVE — The Body as a Resource to Be Conserved

(Withdrawal; limited energy assumption)

1. Re-Entering the Body

“Bring attention below the neck. Stay there.”
Track numbness, irritation, or fatigue.

2. Energy Leakage Myth

“Let yourself feel more sensation without retreating.”
Ask: What belief says this will cost too much?

3. Breath as Contact

“Allow breath to deepen without analyzing it.”
What boundary anxiety emerges with increased aliveness?

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TYPE SIX — The Body as an Early-Warning System

(Hypervigilance; anticipatory fear)

1. Threat Scanning Awareness

“Notice what your body is scanning for right now.”
Where does tension prepare you for impact?

2. Settling Without Certainty

“Let your body settle without resolving doubt.”
Track protest: ‘This isn’t safe yet.’

3. Authority in the Body

“Sense what your body knows before checking for reassurance.”
Where does self-trust live somatically?

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TYPE SEVEN — The Body as a Launchpad

(Avoidance of pain; forward momentum)

1. Staying With Discomfort

“Locate a mildly uncomfortable sensation and remain with it.”
Track impulses to distract or reframe.

2. Completion of Sensation

“Let a sensation fully complete its cycle.”
Ask: What happens when escape isn’t chosen?

3. Depth Without Variety

“Stay with one breath pattern for 60 seconds.”
What anxiety arises when options narrow?

---

TYPE EIGHT — The Body as Armor

(Intensity, control, self-protection)

1. Softening Power

“Notice where your body is braced or expanded.”
Experiment with softening 5%.
What vulnerability appears?

2. Contact Without Control

“Allow sensation without moving to dominate or withdraw.”
Track impulses toward force or shutdown.

3. Tenderness Detection

“Sense where tenderness exists beneath strength.”
What does your body do to hide it?

---

TYPE NINE — The Body as a Place to Disappear

(Dissociation; merging; inertia)

1. Edge Awareness

“Notice where your body fades or goes vague.”
Gently bring sensation back to that area.

2. Claiming Space

“Sense your physical boundaries.”
Ask: What happens when I take up more space?

3. Mobilizing Energy

“Invite a small amount of aliveness or tension.”
What resistance arises to being fully here?

 THE "TUESDAY NIGHT" NOTES

PART II 

Type-Specific Somatic Enneagram Cheat Sheets - Definitions of Body Strategies and Suggestions of Somatic Interruptions

TYPE ONE — Somatic Pattern: Containment & Uprightness

Default Body Strategy

• Held jaw, neck, spine
• Controlled breath (often high or shallow)
• Subtle muscular effort to stay “correct”

What the Body Is Protecting

• Raw anger
• Impulsivity
• Moral looseness / loss of control

Early Somatic Signals

• Tightening before speaking
• Heat in chest or belly that gets redirected upward
• Micro-clenching when things feel “off”

Common Bypass

• Calling tension “discipline” or “integrity”

Somatic Interruption (5%)

• Soften jaw or belly without correcting posture
• Exhale longer than inhale once

Regulation Resource

• Weight through feet
• Gentle, downward attention

---

TYPE TWO — Somatic Pattern: Reaching & Orientation to Others

Default Body Strategy

• Leaning forward
• Open chest, tense shoulders
• Body tracks others before self

What the Body Is Protecting

• Neediness
• Dependency
• Fear of being unwanted

Early Somatic Signals

• Automatic attunement
• Loss of sensation below chest
• Tension when turning attention inward

Common Bypass

• Confusing activation with connection

Somatic Interruption (5%)

• Lean back slightly
• Place one hand on lower belly

Regulation Resource

• Back support
• Self-directed touch

---

TYPE THREE — Somatic Pattern: Acceleration & Image Management

Default Body Strategy

• Fast movement
• Shallow or efficient breathing
• Upright, energized posture even when tired

What the Body Is Protecting

• Emptiness
• Failure
• Loss of identity without achievement

Early Somatic Signals

• Speeding up when uncertain
• Collapse when stopping
• Restlessness in stillness

Common Bypass

• Calling numbness “focus”

Somatic Interruption (5%)

• Slow one movement intentionally
• Pause between inhale and exhale

Regulation Resource

• Stillness with support
• Grounded sitting or lying down

---

TYPE FOUR — Somatic Pattern: Intensity & Emotional Charge

Default Body Strategy

• Strong sensation in chest or throat
• Fluctuating energy
• Expressive facial tone

What the Body Is Protecting

• Ordinary sameness
• Loss of identity through neutrality

Early Somatic Signals

• Amplifying sensation
• Collapsing when unmet
• Pull toward longing

Common Bypass

• Romanticizing dysregulation

Somatic Interruption (5%)

• Stay with neutral sensation for 30 seconds
• Feel feet before heart

Regulation Resource

• Rhythm
• Containment without suppression

---

TYPE FIVE — Somatic Pattern: Withdrawal & Conservation

Default Body Strategy

• Reduced movement
• Minimal breath
• Energy pulled upward or inward

What the Body Is Protecting

• Overwhelm
• Intrusion
• Depletion

Early Somatic Signals

• Numbness
• Coldness
• Leaving the body when stimulated

Common Bypass

• Intellectualizing sensation

Somatic Interruption (5%)

• Deepen breath into ribs
• Small, intentional movement

Regulation Resource

• Clear boundaries + gentle expansion
• Predictable pacing

---

TYPE SIX — Somatic Pattern: Vigilance & Readiness

Default Body Strategy

• Tense muscles
• Alert eyes
• Breath held at top or quickened

What the Body Is Protecting

• Uncertainty
• Abandonment
• Loss of guidance

Early Somatic Signals

• Scanning
• Tight gut
• Startle response

Common Bypass

• Calling anxiety “responsibility”

Somatic Interruption (5%)

• Lengthen exhale
• Name what feels stable right now

Regulation Resource

• Ground contact
• External orientation (room, objects)

---

TYPE SEVEN — Somatic Pattern: Forward Momentum & Escape

Default Body Strategy

• Lightness in upper body
• Fast shifts
• Difficulty staying with discomfort

What the Body Is Protecting

• Pain
• Grief
• Confinement

Early Somatic Signals

• Restlessness
• Avoiding depth
• Sudden mood shifts

Common Bypass

• Reframing sensation instead of feeling it

Somatic Interruption (5%)

• Stay with one uncomfortable sensation
• Slow the breath intentionally

Regulation Resource

• Anchoring in pelvis
• Completion of sensation cycles

---

TYPE EIGHT — Somatic Pattern: Armor & Intensity

Default Body Strategy

• Expanded chest
• Strong muscle tone
• High physical presence

What the Body Is Protecting

• Vulnerability
• Dependency
• Tenderness

Early Somatic Signals

• Bracing
• Heat
• Impulse to move against or dominate

Common Bypass

• Calling intensity “truth”

Somatic Interruption (5%)

• Soften belly or throat
• Reduce force, not presence

Regulation Resource

• Slowness with strength intact
• Safe contact without control

---

TYPE NINE — Somatic Pattern: Dissolution & Merging

Default Body Strategy

• Low tone
• Diffuse awareness
• Comfort-seeking stillness

What the Body Is Protecting

• Conflict
• Assertion
• Separation

Early Somatic Signals

• Fading
• Sleepiness
• Loss of edges

Common Bypass

• Calling absence “peace”

Somatic Interruption (5%)

• Increase muscle tone slightly
• Name one physical boundary

Regulation Resource

• Gentle activation
• Rhythmic movement

THE "TUESDAY NIGHT" NOTES

PART III 

Type-Specific Somatic Micro-Practices for Daily Use

How to use

• Choose one practice per day
• Keep intensity at 5–10% (subtle > dramatic)
• Stop early if you feel overwhelmed; consistency matters more than depth

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TYPE ONE — Releasing Containment

Daily Micro-Practice: Uncorrected Exhale (2 minutes)

• Sit or stand without adjusting posture.
• Exhale through the mouth without improving tone or alignment.
• Let the jaw soften; do not “fix” anything.

Track: irritation, guilt, or urgency.
Purpose: Allow anger/energy to move without moral management.

Alternative (30 seconds): Drop shoulders on the exhale once.

---

TYPE TWO — Returning Attention to Self

Daily Micro-Practice: Self-First Check-In (2–3 minutes)

• Place one hand on chest, one on lower belly.
• Ask silently: “What do I need right now?”
• Stay with sensation; do not act on it.

Track: pull to help, reach, or attune outward.
Purpose: Build tolerance for self-referenced awareness.

Alternative (1 minute): Lean back slightly and feel the back body.

---

TYPE THREE — Slowing Without Collapsing

Daily Micro-Practice: Deliberate Slowness (1–3 minutes)

• Choose one simple action (walking, washing hands).
• Do it at half speed with full sensation.

Track: anxiety, loss of identity, impatience.
Purpose: Separate worth from momentum.

Alternative (30 seconds): Pause between inhale and exhale once.

---

TYPE FOUR — Staying With Neutrality

Daily Micro-Practice: Neutral Sensation Hold (2 minutes)

• Find a sensation that feels ordinary or flat (feet, hands).
• Stay without intensifying, narrating, or aestheticizing.

Track: urge to deepen, dramatize, or withdraw.
Purpose: Expand capacity for presence without emotional charge.

Alternative (1 minute): Name three neutral sensations silently.

---

TYPE FIVE — Increasing Aliveness Safely

Daily Micro-Practice: Gentle Expansion (2–3 minutes)

• Breathe into the side ribs and back body.
• Add a small movement (stretch fingers, roll shoulders).

Track: fear of depletion or intrusion.
Purpose: Disconfirm the belief that sensation always costs too much.

Alternative (30 seconds): Press feet into floor and feel pressure.

---

TYPE SIX — Settling Without Certainty

Daily Micro-Practice: Grounded Orientation (2 minutes)

• Look around and name (silently) five stable objects.
• Lengthen the exhale slightly.

Track: scanning, doubt, readiness.
Purpose: Teach the nervous system safety without answers.

Alternative (1 minute): Feel both feet equally on the ground.

---

TYPE SEVEN — Completing Sensation

Daily Micro-Practice: Stay With Discomfort (1–2 minutes)

• Choose a mildly uncomfortable sensation (tightness, boredom).
• Stay until the sensation shifts or completes.

Track: impulses to distract or reframe.
Purpose: Build trust in the body’s capacity to metabolize pain.

Alternative (30 seconds): Slow breath while staying still.

---

TYPE EIGHT — Softening Without Losing Power

Daily Micro-Practice: Belly & Throat Softening (2 minutes)

• Place a hand on the belly or throat.
• Let that area soften 5% while staying present.

Track: vulnerability, impatience, control impulses.
Purpose: Allow tenderness without collapse.

Alternative (1 minute): Slow down speech or movement slightly.

---

TYPE NINE — Increasing Presence & Edge

Daily Micro-Practice: Gentle Activation (2–3 minutes)

• Increase muscle tone slightly (press feet, engage legs).
• Name one clear boundary: “I am here.”

Track: sleepiness, resistance, fading.
Purpose: Reclaim energy without force.

Alternative (1 minute): Rock gently while staying alert.

---

WEEKLY RESET (ALL TYPES — 5 minutes)

Once per week:

1. Notice your most common bodily strategy.
2. Reduce it by 5% for one minute.
3. Journal one sentence: “When I didn’t do my pattern, I felt…”

Eulogy for a friend

 My dear friend, Tim Hendrix, passed in July 2023. He was a week shy of being 59 years old. His illness was long, terrifying, vicious and unrelenting. It was incredibly hard to watch his dreams die. This is my eulogy to be presented on 9/23/24.

Welcome and thank you for being here today. Your presence and witness not only honor Tim, but are a balm, support and accompaniment to the grief of everyone in this room. I recognize Tim’s family, the many friends who served as Tim’s family during his illness, and especially Tim’s partner and fiancé, Mahmod Eslami, who joins us via livestream from Italy.

 

My name is Amber. I am a friend of Tim’s. We met in the hallway outside this room more than 20 years ago. We shared meals, laughter, sadness, a love of fashion, and most enjoyably, we shared in making music together in this room. He lovingly watched my daughter grow up, encouraged her, wrote glowing reference letters for her, and performed her wedding ceremony. Tim was family.

 

If I asked you to raise your hand if you were also Tim’s friend, I expect all of you would raise your hands. If I asked you to raise your hand if you thought of Tim as a very close friend, almost all of you would raise your hand.

 

Tim had an enviable gift; a gift of making friends and being a friend.

 

When Tim asked me to be his partner on his medical journey, I began attending many office and hospital visits with him. Each place we went, Tim started making friends. The second time we visited an office, the staff knew him by name and greeted him with a smile.

 

I started paying close attention to how Tim effortlessly did this. He started by really seeing a person. He acknowledged them personally. He accepted them for who they presented themselves to be. He was honest with them. He remembered them whenever we returned. He encouraged them when they shared with him.

 

As a friend of Tim’s, I expect you experienced much the same as the people who provided Tim’s medical care.

 

Tim met us where we were and saw us for who we are. He didn’t ask us to be anything less or more.

 

Tim joined in our sorrows, our triumphs, and in our indomitable task of day-to-day living in this world.

 

Tim saw us; he accepted us; he loved us.

 

Tim, like all of us, had his faults. But I think his primary motivation was seated in love. Accepting people where they are requires an act of lovingkindness. Truly seeing people requires a deep understanding of the human condition. Loving others requires giving of yourself.

 

One time in the hospital, we asked him if he wanted anything. He was suffering greatly and coming to terms with his terminal condition. His reply in the midst of this was, “I just want everyone to love everyone else.”

 

PEPPER STARTS PLAYING “ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE”

 

As a friend of Tim’s, he saw your melody and offered a harmony as he shared your lives.

He accompanied us in the major keys of our joys and the minor keys of our sorrows.

When we needed encouragement, he provided a supportive rhythm to help us keep moving forward.

Tim helped us sing our songs. We loved him for that.

 

PEPPER LEADS CONGREGATION IN SINGING CHORUS

I Juggle One Thousand Basketballs

Standing in the center of the old gymnasium, soft light seeping through the windows high on the walls of stone, I juggle one thousand basketballs. The capricious orange spheres float in the air, up and down, sometimes caroming off of the high ceiling, almost but never touching the once-shiny wooden floor.

I ask the one thousand basketballs to settle, to find a roosting spot.  They drift down one at a time, several all at once. There is silence as they come to rest.  Some of the basketballs do not move downward, but continue to float and bounce.  A few rise from the floor as high as my head.  “Hush little ball, time to settle, if only for a few moments,” I think.  “Sink down onto the floor.”

I stand alone, silent and still in the midst of one thousand basketballs.  They lie at my feet, some still agitated, like babies who do not wish to nap and struggle to stay awake.  I try not to look or pay attention to the recalcitrant ones.

My gaze turns upwards, away from the one thousand basketballs. The roof of the rock gym is very high; the light pleasant and soft as if dusk is approaching. My mind is quiet and my soul lightened.  I remain unmoving as long as my mind allows.  I turn in a circle inch by measured inch, stretching out my arms as if they are moving through deep, blue water, feeling the lightness of my soul as it dances through my body. If I stay here long enough, I find bursting love and contentment at the center of the dance.

My arms float down to rest at my sides as I stop turning. My eyes open to find the soft light in the high windows. I feel movement around my feet as the balls begin to stir, rising with a languidness they did not show before. I acknowledge them with a softer mind. They begin their gentle bouncing, now less frenetic. Our movements have come into symmetry, the beginning of another dance. It is time to leave the rock gym.

It is strange that I come to this memory to find balance, stillness.  The rock gym is not a place I found silence or peacefulness in my youth.  Yet, I return often to let the one thousand basketballs find rest and my soul to find a few sacred moments of meditation.

______________________________________________________________________________

The rock gymnasium of my school years, grades five through twelve, was where gym classes were held, basketball games played, health and art classes met in the odd-sized classrooms both downstairs and behind the balcony seating area.

The unique structure was built in 1939, a WPA project of the era.  Neighbors brought rocks from their fields and yards to the school site, as well as wood for the construction.  It still stands as I remember it, now listed on the National Register of Historic Places. 

       

     

          

Walking the Tightrope

Tax time is here.  For me that means a 4-month burst of activity in a season of busyness.  Oddly enough, I enjoy this time of year.  On the positive side, I get to reconnect with people I see only once a year.  It also helps the household bottom line.  On the negative side, I sit too long at the computer which I find spiritually draining, we eat out more often (maybe that should go on the positive side), I don’t exercise or see my friends often enough, but most importantly, I rarely make time to just “be.”

We are human beings and not human doings for a reason.  God created us to be…be with God, be with each other, be with ourselves and be in the beauty of all creation.  Eckhart Tolle, author of several books about living in presence and the power of being, teaches that the mandate, “Be still and know that I am God” is the entire wisdom of all religion.  My thought is that being still is the wisdom, root and fruit of spirituality, that which we find within ourselves and not in the rhetoric and traditions of religion. 

Finding true stillness is the most difficult spiritual practice I have ever attempted, whether on a yoga mat, on the beach, or in a worship service.  I found true stillness for the first time on my back porch during the twelve months of my cancer treatment.  It is a wonderful place to be, really be.  At first it seemed strange – just being.  I was so tired and sedated that it was easy to just sit.  “Being” soon became my favorite thing to “do.”  I made a list of things I did while I sat in the rocking chair through spring, summer, and on into fall. 

Consider, ponder

Watch the birds, imagine, feel a breeze, check the plants

Watch the venus fly trap, catch flies, feed the venus fly trap (presumably this was on a day when I was fairly well medicated)

Pray, read, visit

Watch the dog roll in the grass, watch my daughter play

Look for fireflies, smell the grill

Rock in my grandma’s chair, remember my grandma

Enjoy the changing trees, wonder

Feel the warmth of the heater

Mull, listen to the sounds of my husband’s newspaper

Close my eyes, just breathe, shed tears.

Stillness is immensely valuable. Opening space in my mind opened my soul.  I made time with my Creator and eventually found myself. The changes were subtle in the days, but profound in the months.  I discovered an ability to view the world with a sense of healthy detachment and a willingness to relinquish control. 

But tax time is here.  The challenge of accomplishing work well and on a timely basis is always at the forefront.  It is vital for the wellness of my whole being to live a season of balance, not a season of busyness.  It is a little like walking on a tightrope.  A steady balance is hard to maintain in the face of deadlines and competing interests.  

How can I believe that listening and stillness are essential to my soul and not make time for them?  I already have time marked on my calendar for exercise classes and lunch dates.  I even have a plan to play duets with a fellow musician!  However, I have not marked out time for practicing the art of being.  Perhaps that is what I should “do” today.

"Being spiritual has nothing to do with what you believe and everything to do with your state of consciousness."
— Eckhart Tolle

A Grand Affair

On this December morning, I am sitting in my living room enjoying the sight and smell of the decorated Fraser Fir that stands in the bay window.  As beautiful as it is in and of itself and also because of its transient nature, it is not the star attraction in the room.  The real treasure is the female presence in the corner.  I knew she was feminine from the moment I first saw her.  She is my piano.

Several years ago I bought her from a family that was selling the old church piano to fund their daughter’s wedding.  It was difficult to determine the potential of the piano, but I followed my gut feeling and brought her home.  

She is an upright grand constructed of solid, quarter-sawn oak and cast iron.  She is barely moveable.  I can date the manufacture date of 1893 from the Steinway serial number inside.  Underneath the keyboard is a sign of something from her past.  I can envision a “rebellious” young teenager lying on the floor of the Sunday School room under the piano in 1973 penciling on the peace sign that remains there to this day.  I love it!  After a major investment in her repair and rebuild, she once again has the solid, sweet tone of the Steinway masterpiece she was created to have.

All these attributes are not what make her my treasure.  I have had a years-long love affair with her.  She comes alive under my fingers, challenges me and makes the music sound better than perhaps I can play it.  I can pour out my emotions through her and she always listens with clear empathy, no judgment involved, and allows me to express myself in a beautiful way.

Somewhere through the years I began using her.  It wasn’t just about the magic of merging piano, artist and spiritual creativity anymore.  I started using her to impress people, to feed my sense of self-worth.  And the magic just sort of dried up.  I lost my artistry and creativity by turning the music into church WORK.  Instead of finding joy and adventure on the bench, all that awaited me there was stress, fear and dread. Along with that realization and my burgeoning inner journey into losing religion and finding true spirituality, I decided to relinquish my church WORK.  Leaving that behind is like abandoning a label that I once coveted.  Oddly enough there is no sadness or regret about my choice, only freedom to rekindle the magic.

At this moment I vow to never turn my gift of music into work again.  I firmly believe that music is one of the God’s greatest creations and gifts to us.  It deserves my best effort at accomplishing what I love and finding delight in the gift wherever seems right to my soul.

Now I am once again finding myself on the bench at odd moments during the day, tentatively picking up old favorite pieces, finding the dexterity in my fingers isn’t too far gone, remembering the joy I found here.  Even in this moment I am antsy sitting here writing because I just want to play my favorite Christmas music along with this treasure of a piano. 

This will be her 117^th Christmas.  She has seen many piano players come and go through the years and will likely be played for many Christmases long after I am gone.  I hope she remembers my touch and her part in my journey, and I secretly harbor a desire that she likes me the best of all who have drawn music from her soul.

Without music, life would be a mistake.

Friedrich Nietzsche